Happy Halloween Severus Snape
by Oh. Blimey
Summary: Fifteen years since his unrequited love's death and Severus Snape still can't seem to cope. In fact, all he can really do is hang on to his last string of sanity and answer the door when a very ironically dressed trick or treater comes a knockin'.


Disclaimer: I don't own it. There is also a vague part of a movie line in here that you may recognize from PP.

Story takes place the Halloween of Harry's sixth year.

**Happy Halloween Severus Snape**

The sands of time are slipping through my hands, he thought, but your picture on my wall keeps me sane today. It has been so many long days since your flesh was real to me. Now, your only existence resides in a photograph, along with my honor. The last of my purity, as the rest was spent in making the good fall.

In making you fall, he said aloud, staring at her long lost face. If he turned would she perish again behind the frame? It had been a year ago since she'd last emerged. Too disgusted to look at him, to proud to let him look at her. Even the slightest fragrant memory of her loathed him.

I know why you've come out of hiding, he whispered, caressing the glass with his thumb. Slowly he dragged it down over her face. It's your anniversary, isn't it? The only day you allow me a glimpse…

He turned away despite his doubts. It was Halloween. You left me on a Halloween night. But I made you leave. The prophecy…telling Voldemort…you must think me such a foul rat. But I tried to come back to the good side, Lily, I did. You know that.

I wasn't lying when I said it had been my biggest regret. In some ways it really was…and in some ways it wasn't, a fleeting image of James Potter flared through his mind. Severus pushed it away, calming his boiling blood.

I shouldn't have told. I should have walked away from the Hogs Head, gone home, got in bed, and filled my mind with sweet dreams of you, but I couldn't. It gave me such a pleasure to know that with a word I could damn that unborn child that I hated so much already. I never dreamed my words would damn you too. To me, it was never your child Lily it was _his_.

And how I hate that boy, even now. Its only fitting that he looks so much like his father. They are both hellions. Even in death, he still continues to torture me through his son! And those green eyes… he doesn't deserve them! I've never met another soul more unworthy!

You used to look at me with such compassion in those eyes. You were the only one who ever spared something but malign. I was awful to you; I didn't deserve your kindness. I didn't deserve your eyes. But I wanted them just the same.

He looked back at the photograph. Still, he uttered bitterly; you do not hold me in contempt, though I would prefer it if you did.

Once again, he studied her haunting vision.

You're limp where you once were able, he told her. Your hands lay by your side, useless. Your face is blank, and your eyes are only sorrow and pity for me…but there! In the shadows, I see disgust! Oh woe me, he sunk down to the floor, has it always been there, my love?

You must understand, he exclaimed desperately, if I could take it back I would, in a heartbeat. Just to see your face.

The doorbell startled Severus. Who could it be? He walked down the stairs slowly. What if it was vengeance, coming to collect? Merlin knew he deserved it. He wondered what it would look like.

Severus gripped the doorknob and turned slowly, counting his blessings. He didn't have enough to save him. He didn't have any at all! He swung back the door in a rage.

Vengeance had come in the form of…Harry Potter?

"What the…"

"Trick or treat!"

No, not Potter, but close. He looked down at the young child below him. He wasn't expecting any happy Halloween celebrators. His house was very secluded, and very un-welcoming to the eyes.

His anger heightened as he studied the boy's costume. He had it down to the lightning scar and those green eyes…that were just a shade too dark. Oh, the irony. He gripped the edge of the door tightly. "Can I help you?"

The boy beamed happily. "I said trick or treat. Where's my candy?"

"I don't have any candy," Severus snapped. He had taken off work every year to grieve not to hand out taffy! Not that his co-workers knew that. They just thought he really liked Halloween.

The little brat was confused. "Why not?"

"Does it look like I celebrate Halloween?" he asked dryly. The boy stood dumbfounded for a few moments, letting his candy bag drop to his side.

"Well, for someone who doesn't like Halloween, your lawn is awfully decorated," he said slowly.

"What?"

"I said your lawn—"

"I don't have any decorations."

"You do too."

"I do not."

"Do too!"

Severus looked around the doorframe at his yard. Every inch of it was covered in white. It looked like a winter wonderland. That is, if winter wonderlands were composed completely of toilet paper.

"God bloody fucking hell!"

"You said a bad word! I'm telling on you!"

"Shut up you little shit!"

"Hey you can't talk to me that way! I'm Harry Potter, savior of our world and—"

_SLAM!_

Severus sped up the stairs, into his bedroom, and collapsed back against the wall. His breath came out in ragged heaves. He glanced at the clock on the wall. Nine, it was nine o'clock. Take me back, he screamed, to the night where green light ran wild. When freedom was declared. When love still mattered… How many years ago? How long had it been?

Fifteen! It had been fifteen years since he saw…

Oh Lily, why must you torture me so? The dead stays dead, he knew, but you were so alive. You're here, he cried out, haunting me forever. Let me go from your spell. Release me and I will know no heartbreak anymore.

I loved you with the passion of a thousand suns. I could have raised you up. You could have shone in my sky forever. But you chose to burn! Burn with him—without me…

He held the picture on his knees in front of him, rocking back and forth, until it got too hot to touch. He threw the picture away from him. Is emerging every year like this a treat or a meaningless trick, Lily? He asked, but he already knew.

This was vengeance. You are my punishing me for my sins! But wait, the time will come.

The rest will fall, Lily, you'll see. Dumbledore and all will come crashing down through their own good intentions, and then you'll regret rejecting me. Like I've always regretted letting you go.

He sobbed into his hands.

It's your fault your dead! Your fault, your fault, your fault, your fault…is mine.

He would never find redemption, that he knew, but he wasn't looking for it.

Yes, I've always doted on the idea that Snape was kind of nutty. I know stories like this don't usually get reviews, but if you could just spare a moment of your time for some feedback…

**Thank you, **

**Moxy Blossom**


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